Just got back from cruising the neighborhood:

Blog entries that start with “sorry I’ve been away” win the Grasping the Obvious Award, so let’s skip that. I will say that No Safe Place has fallen on the wayside since my job responsibilities have increased and the middle part of the semester is piling on. The upside about the former is the pay for the extra hours (nice!) and the latter means we’re on the downward slope of the school year. It helps, too, that the grading is practically up-to-date and it’s Test Week for all of my classes.

On top of everything else, I’m filling out forms to go back to grad school in the Fall. Why, you ask, especially since I’m getting to a time in my life where degrees don’t matter as much as the 26+ years in my profession. Uh…good question, especially after my last time at the Little University on the Hill and the time/money it takes to get a graduate degree. Especially the money. The best answer “because it is there” and it’s the hole in my resume that bugs me the most. Maybe I’ll get a better answer once I’m back in class.

Like every blogger in the world, I’ve an opinion about the economy (excrement -> rotating air circulator) and politics (Clinton campaign = amateur hour) and the war (bring them home), but I just got back from a five-mile ride in perfect weather under blue skies. The IQ is down and the endorphins are up. It’s a good day.

The pile of dirt is for Scott who might have problems getting this picture unless he’s sneaky. The folks over at Nevada State Prison don’t like cameras on the grounds (for obvious reasons) but I don’t think they’d mind a pix from their parking lot of the big pile of dirt that’ll block their view of the mountains. This is the freeway extension where it’ll go over Fifth Street. You can’t see them but there’s a whole bunch of heavy construction equipment compressing this dirt and, according to the gatehouse, they’re working around the clock to get things done.

Well, back to the grading and maybe another ride later, too.

If you live in Northern Nevada, then most times you have to surf the ‘net to get real news stories with honest-to-goodness thoughtful analysis behind them. It’s not to say the folks up here don’t try, but there’s are only so many political brainfarts you can write about before they all sound the same. Same with droughts, housing problems, and gangs.

So wrapping up this always-wordy lead-in, there’s Peter Hartlaub’s article on break-up songs and he did a fine job, so fine, that it’s a pity I just present the list below. The man resists the Gannett-Newspaper-prone habit of paying attention to entertainment from the last five years and writes about songs from previous generations.
Please click on this link and read the whole thing.

In the meantime…

Share the pain: Breakup songs to die for:

5. “Cry Me a River,” Justin Timberlake (2002)

Psycho breakup line: “Girl I refuse, you must have me confused/ with some other guy/ Your bridges were burned, and now it’s your turn to cry.”

Why it’s a classic: I’m happily married, but if my wife ever got so mad at me that she felt the need to burn our mattress and spread crushed tomatoes all over the house, “Cry Me a River” would definitely be the song playing in the background. The fact that JT wrote this for ex-girlfriend Britney Spears only makes it more legendary. How glad do you think Timberlake is now that she’s someone else’s problem?

4. “Piece of My Heart,” Erma Franklin (1967)

Psycho breakup line: “You’re out on the streets looking good/ And baby deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain’t right/ Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night/ Babe, I cry all the time!”

Why it’s a classic: This is the “Citizen Kane” of breakup sons. All breakup music must be judged by it. The Janis Joplin version is more iconic, but Erma Franklin’s is equally intense, and in some ways more direct. Joplin sounded a little wasted when she sang it with Big Brother and the Holding Company. Franklin sounds sober, which is much more scary.

3. “You Oughta Know,” Alanis Morissette (1995)

Psycho breakup line: “Every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back/ I hope you feel it/ Can you feel it?”

Why it’s a classic: Where to start? Pound for pound (or line for line) this is the most anger-packed breakup song ever. Even Amy Winehouse wouldn’t think to write a song this crazy. Morissette also frequently performs an acoustic version, which is even scarier, because you can hear the lyrics more clearly. Based on this, the government should have put Dave Coulier and everyone else she dated in witness relocation.

2. “Against All Odds,” Phil Collins (1984)

Psycho breakup line: “I wish I could just make you turn around/ Turn around and see me cry!”

Why it’s a classic: “In the Air Tonight” has a better urban legend, but this song - written after Collins’ breakup with his first wife - packs more emotional impact. He sounds like such a colossal wuss that you almost want to turn the song off to save him the embarrassment. But you still have to feel for the guy.

1. “I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor (1978)

Psycho breakup line: “I should have changed my stupid lock/ I should have made you leave your key/ If I had known for just one second/ You’d be back to bother me.”

Why it’s a classic: It starts off with one of the best openings in songwriting history (”First I was afraid, I was petrified”) and never stops picking up speed. What’s especially great about the song - which was inexplicably written by two men - is the way the narrator grows from a shrinking violet to a self-assured take-no-prisoners love Terminator. Modern medicine will never come up with a better breakup cure than “I Will Survive.”

My eyes popped open at 0530ish this morning and I could not get back to sleep, so I’m sitting at work well before I need to be here. My PC’s got two monitors so I’m working on one and cruising the internet on the other. This morning’s find, courtesy of Steve Spears at Stuck in the ’80’s:

Top 10 Top Gun* lines to recite to annoy coworkers:

10. Swilling down Starbucks on the way in from the parking lot: “I feel the need … the need for speed.” (Or, if you’re already caffeinated enough, “Time to kick the tires and light the fires!”)

9. When coming in the office door: “Good morning, gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees.”

8. When your boss asks you to do something: “That’s a negative, Ghost rider, the pattern is full.”

7. When seeing your friend in the restroom: “Hey Goose, you big stud!” (Or, if you’re feeling daring, “Great balls of fire!”)

6. After that three-martini lunch to nobody in particular: “I flew with your old man. VF-51, the Oriskany. You’re a lot like he was. Only better… and worse.”

5. When passing off an assignment to a subordinate: “If you screw up just this much, you’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dogs–t out of Hong Kong!”

4. On spotting targets at Happy Hour after work: “Too close for missiles, I’m switching to guns.”

3. What to tell your wingman at Happy Hour after switching to guns: “Do not fire until fired upon.”

2. What you tell yourself when your ATM won’t cough up more cash: “Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.”

1. And whenever you get the chance: “Take me to bed or lose me forever.”

*Since I can’t seem to post lately without something from YouTube, it seems right to remind you that Top Gun was the Brokeback Mountain of the “Me Generation”:

Then, a toast: May their days be long and full of happiness; may their children be many and full of health; and may they live in peace… and freedom. - Hugh