After minimal mulling, Cats & Dogs is the latest/greatest category on this here blog and is dedicated to the eternal, never-ending, and always-blabbered-about relationships between Women and Men. Being a child of multiple-divorced parents, the entire drama has always been both a fascination and mystery to me. The dance that goes on between the two genders is the stuff of practically every drama and comedy created.

And why is that? We’re all basically the same in our physiology except for the all-important reproductive plumbing, so is it the software (emotion) that screws up the smooth operation? Or it is the firmware (urge to reproduce) wrapped around that hardware that makes us jump off cliffs and walk in the rain for just a little squeeze?

Well, this I know: the answer ain’t here or any form of literary work, no matter how profound or incisive. Life is meant to be lived, not witnessed.

But that won’t stop me from poking fun at it.

For instance, here’s a little tidbit from the internet. It defines the most basic problem between the genders: communication:

Nine Words Women Use

1. “Fine”: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. “Five Minutes”: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. “Five minutes” is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. “Nothing”: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

4. “Go Ahead”: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

5. “Loud Sigh”: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. “That’s OK”: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s OK” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. “Thanks”: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say, “You’re welcome.”

8. “Whatever”: Is a women’s way of saying “@*#% YOU!”

9. “Don’t worry about it, I got it”: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to #3.

[From the internet.  Looks like the work of Scott Adams, Dilbert maestro.] 

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

Proceed at your own risk »

Madison beat a surprisingly underperforming Shreveport team that was (mis)lead by Drew Brees (ex-Wolverine), Frank Gore, and Rudi Johnson, a usually high-powered trio that scored negative seven points between them last weekend. The Pittsburgh D/ST led all scoring for the entire league with 33 points and received one of fourteen regular-season Player of the Week awards.

While Madison leads the Silver Division by one game, there’s no time to rest on their laurels because here comes the Chattanooga Predators, fresh off their 95-point weekend power surge. The two highest-scoring teams will match off tomorrow with the Predators starting three-time Super Bowl QB Tom Brady against the Wolverines’ Matt Schaub, the offensive surprise of the year. The winner of this match goes to 3-1 while the loser will drop to .500.

It’s the first week of byes for the OFFL and there’s more excitement this year than you can shake a stick at. Stay tuned.

Via SI.com. Watch the two guys in the background.

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“For Immediate Release: September 27, 2007

Governor Gibbons’ statement on deaths of Army Staff Sergeant Michael Townes and Army Specialist Travis Virgadamo

Carson City – Governor Jim Gibbons issued the following statement regarding the deaths of Army Staff Sergeant Michael Townes of Las Vegas and Army Specialist Travis Virgadamo of Pahrump:

‘Dawn and I extend our deepest sympathies to the families of Staff Sergeant Townes and Specialist Virgadamo. These brave Nevadans proudly served our nation in the Global War on Terror, and we honor their service.’

Specialist Travis Virgadamo died in Taji, Iraq on August 30th. He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 7th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division.

Staff Sergeant Michael Townes died in Balad, Iraq on September 16th. He joined the Army in October 1999 and was assigned to 4th Battalion, 227th Aviation Regiment, 1st Air Cavalry Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division.

In honor of Specialist Virgadamo and Staff Sergeant Townes, flags at the Capitol will be flown at half staff Friday, September 28, 2007.”

# # #

We’re all getting closer to the weekend where we do the work we choose versus the work we’re told to do. Myself, I’ll be buried in the usual school stuff and trying to talk myself into exercise. It ain’t so bad, considering the ongoing wars, freedom demonstrations, and such. Life could be a lot less boring.

The Nobel Peace Prize is coming out next month and rumor is the winner will be a prominent American politician. Not unheard of since Jimmy Carter won in our lifetime and two sitting presidents received it for their roles in international diplomacy (T. Roosevelt and Wilson). Will winning the prize bring Al Gore into the 2008 presidential race? And will it really make a difference? I predict he’ll stay out of it because Al does not want to be remembered as the guy that lost two heartbreaking presidential races.

Since we’re on the Slate truck, they recently published an article for Hillary’s rivals for the Democratic presidential nomination. The author came up with some ideas to derail her “March to the Sea” that include focusing on her relationships to lobbyists, prove that she’s divisive versus inclusive, and mentioning that 250-pound monkey on her back known as Bill. The most realistic of these, barring last-minute pictures of her canoodling with Osama bin Laden (ew), is the first bullet: Give In and start working on gaining a cabinet post now, Mr. Secretary.

Here’s a duh: more people are riding bicycles (except yours truly :(). Biking manufacturers are creating urban versions that can carry more baggage, have less gears, and made for urban travel. The first brands will probably cost two or three thousand, then the companies will get clued in and start offering much cheaper models. Maybe then I’ll get back on it.

Here’s one for The Bride: Happy Birthday to her favorite Hardy Boy. Shaun Cassidy is 49 today.

The San Francisco Chronicle published an article over the weekend talking about the Doolittle Raid over Japan in 1942 and they interviewed Frank Kappeler, one of the eight survivors of the original 80 flyers. Since you’re probably too busy to read the article, here it is in a nutshell: the volunteers were told they had a 50-50 chance of surviving a “very dangerous mission.” They flew Army bombers off Navy aircraft carriers and bombed parts of Japan, and those who survived that had to bail out over China. Some of those who crashed in Japan were executed and some were lost at sea. Most of those who made it back to America got back in the war, including Frank. He flew 50 more combat missions and served in the Korean War. We talk of the “Greatest Generation” that helped create the best country in history, but sometimes the individual stories get lost in this day of information overflow. (Coincidentally, the leader of the flight, Jimmy Doolittle, died fourteen years ago today.)

Another story showing how naive I am about some things: I always believed the child’s safety and health was supposed to be a family court judge’s first consideration when placing a child. Wrong. Nevada judges used to have wide discretion on the issue and could, given circumstances, return a child to a dangerous situation if he/she felt adequate steps were in place to oversee the family. This happened in Las Vegas a few years ago. After he was placed in his father’s house, the young child found a gun and accidentally killed himself. This happened after the judge told the father to get rid of the weapons. The Nevada Supreme Court told judges this week to get over themselves and laid down the law: “The district court’s primary focus should remain on the child’s best interest.” Why did it take them this long to get it on paper?

The Patriot Act continues its slow trip to the Supreme Court (I’m guessing 2009ish, after the current administration is gone) and parts of it continues to fail the test of precedence. A federal judge in Portland said it’s okay for the government to wiretap to ferret out bad guys by means of intelligence gathering, but they can’t use it as a means to gather criminal evidence. I’m slow on these things but if there’s a radical bombmaker in the U.S. planning to blow up something, isn’t that illegal? Or is that the kind of thinking the FBI was using to justify their actions? It’s a tough balance between safety and security of the country versus individual personal freedoms, but that’s why we pay the judges to make the tough calls. Given the fact the FBI is being continuously criticized for its actions and overzealousness, it seems to me warrentless wiretapping is sanctioned lawlessness and should end now.

Thinking about adding a new category for my views on the relationships between Women and Men. Trying to come up with a catchy phrase, and “Venus and Mars” has been played into the ground. Ideas welcomed.

An idiot ran onto the field during the Vikings/Chiefs game and the KC crack security team was up to the task at hand:

Video via ProFootballTalk.com