After minimal mulling, Cats & Dogs is the latest/greatest category on this here blog and is dedicated to the eternal, never-ending, and always-blabbered-about relationships between Women and Men. Being a child of multiple-divorced parents, the entire drama has always been both a fascination and mystery to me. The dance that goes on between the two genders is the stuff of practically every drama and comedy created.

And why is that? We’re all basically the same in our physiology except for the all-important reproductive plumbing, so is it the software (emotion) that screws up the smooth operation? Or it is the firmware (urge to reproduce) wrapped around that hardware that makes us jump off cliffs and walk in the rain for just a little squeeze?

Well, this I know: the answer ain’t here or any form of literary work, no matter how profound or incisive. Life is meant to be lived, not witnessed.

But that won’t stop me from poking fun at it.

For instance, here’s a little tidbit from the internet. It defines the most basic problem between the genders: communication:

Nine Words Women Use

1. “Fine”: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. “Five Minutes”: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. “Five minutes” is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. “Nothing”: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine.”

4. “Go Ahead”: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!

5. “Loud Sigh”: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. “That’s OK”: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s OK” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. “Thanks”: A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say, “You’re welcome.”

8. “Whatever”: Is a women’s way of saying “@*#% YOU!”

9. “Don’t worry about it, I got it”: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response, refer to #3.

[From the internet.  Looks like the work of Scott Adams, Dilbert maestro.] 

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

(more…)

Madison beat a surprisingly underperforming Shreveport team that was (mis)lead by Drew Brees (ex-Wolverine), Frank Gore, and Rudi Johnson, a usually high-powered trio that scored negative seven points between them last weekend. The Pittsburgh D/ST led all scoring for the entire league with 33 points and received one of fourteen regular-season Player of the Week awards.

While Madison leads the Silver Division by one game, there’s no time to rest on their laurels because here comes the Chattanooga Predators, fresh off their 95-point weekend power surge. The two highest-scoring teams will match off tomorrow with the Predators starting three-time Super Bowl QB Tom Brady against the Wolverines’ Matt Schaub, the offensive surprise of the year. The winner of this match goes to 3-1 while the loser will drop to .500.

It’s the first week of byes for the OFFL and there’s more excitement this year than you can shake a stick at. Stay tuned.

Via SI.com. Watch the two guys in the background.

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