From Carolyn and Maizie:

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told them she needed some cyanide. “Why?” asked the pharmacist. “I”m going to poison my husband.”

“Lord have mercy, I can”t sell you cyanide to kill your husband,” he said. “It”s against the law, I would lose my license, they would throw us both in jail and throw away the key. You can absolutely NOT have any cyanide.”

With that, the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist”s wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now … you didn”t tell me you had a prescription.”

Kudos (Kudoes?) to the Carson City Public Works Department. Best plowing job ever.

A few years ago, they plowed our street and left some big-time hills blocking the exit to our cul de sac. I left a message on their department voicemail and the mess was cleaned up within a couple of hours. Very impressive.

Yet another YouTube instant classic, courtesy of Bethany.

Seriously, you’d think these folks could be along…

Priests get rowdy in Vatican soccer game

VATICAN CITY, Vatican City, Feb. 25 (UPI) — Two teams of priests ended all hopes for a peaceful soccer match when their Vatican City league match included penalties and one hospital visit.

Despite a pre-game plea for fair play from Cardinal Pio Laghi, Saturday’s soccer match between the Brazilian students from Pontifical Gregorian University and a Mexican team of trainee priests from Mater Ecclesiae seminary quickly turned violent, the Daily Telegraph said.

“You are in sight of St Peter’s, so behave!” Laghi said before the game.

The referee had been asked to use blue penalty cards primarily to assess violations, but he wound up issuing two yellow cards for major penalties.

The low-point may have come when one player had to be assisted off the field by an ambulance crew.

The Mexicans of Mater Ecclesiae and their appropriately named goalie, Jesus, won the match, 6-0.

How many of these have you seen? Or even heard of?

Continuing the tradition of the PostCard of the Week, courtesy of PostSecret:

Proceed at your own risk »

That I’m an ultra-liberal Democrat because, well, my daughter says so. She sent me a link to a site called, “Why Mommy is a Democrat” (the above image coming from that).

So I went to this web site to test out my political leanings. The results are below the jump and they probably won’t surprise you. Let’s just say the Lyon County (Nevada) Democrats will probably leave their link to my site on their web page.

Of course, I’m probably the only northern Nevadan blogger who didn’t drool or spaz out over the so-called presidential debate that happened literally across the street from my office, nor did I devote hours of study or rhetoric to it. The participants flew in, they did Harry Reid a favor by making Nevada look good, and they flew off to Vegas or California for fund-raisers. From the day of the debate to this writing, one of the participants has already dropped out of the race (Tom something).

BTW, it ain’t a debate if the candidates aren’t sharing the stage during the Q/A. It was sound bites and photo op’s, that’s all.

Now I’m going finish this hyperlinked-enriched entry and head for bed. I’ve been grading papers all day because I believe inmates should be given chance at a real education and a real life on the outside. If that’s the essence of being a Democrat, so be it. Good night.

Proceed at your own risk »

…then I’ll start behaving…

Subject: Buying stock
Proceed at your own risk »

(From Aunt Lily who knows me way too well.)

Subject: Redneck Manners

In General:
1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
2. It’s considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
4. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul t o the funeral home.

Proceed at your own risk »

From an old digest of News of the Weird:

After Emmalee Bauer, 25, was fired by the Sheraton hotel company in late 2006, she sought unemployment compensation from the Iowa agency that offers benefits to employees terminated through no fault of their own. However, the judge noted that Bauer had written a 300-page journal, during office hours, chronicling her efforts to avoid work. Among her entries: “This typing thing seems to be doing the trick. It just looks like I am hard at work on something very important” and “Once lunch is over, I will come right back to writing to piddle away the rest of the afternoon” and “Accomplishment is overrated, anyway.” (Her claim was denied.) [Des Moines Register, 1-18-07]