Your Old ABC’s
[from the internet]
A’s for arthritis;
B’s the bad back,
C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight–can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and water retention
G is for gas, which I’d rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure–I’d prefer low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is lost hearing–now what did you say?
M is memory lapses occurring all day.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few;
Just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy. Is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux–one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for tinnitus; there are bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo–that’s “dizzy,” you know.
W is for worry. NOW what’s going ’round?
X is for x-ray and what might be found.
Y is another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have–in my mind.
I’ve survived all the symptoms, my body’s deployed,
and I’ve kept twenty-six doctors fully employed.
